Alhamdulillah, i just finished my physics paper. I berserah kepada Allah sahaja. Physics is the subject i really really dont like most. I think its my lecturer, i heard that my class is his last class, after that he's going back to his country, Canada, after this. He is so old, and teaches us very enthusiastically (..not!). Every time i look behind the class i see so many blur faces. You can say that 95% of my physics marks is my own hard(??) work, and hadnt been contributed from his teachings at all. No wonder i am getting so low .
The other day dahlah kena sound from Dr. Ikmal, because my mid term physics marks were so bad. But he was cool, and understanding when i told him that i studied very very hard. He didn't pressure me, but asked me a lot about it though. He's a nice man, soft spoken.
Sigh, lepas ni ada 2 lagi paper. Insya allah i akan giatkan lagi study utk menaikan lagi my average marks. Sometimes i feel like i want to plead to Allah, asking him to help me answer all my exam q's so i can score, tapi malu pulak kekadang tu u know. Malu sebab i meminta sebahagian daripada nikmat dunia, sedangkan kepada Allah tempat kembali yang sebaik-baiknya. So i prayed that He did what was best for me, for He knows what's best. I am very tempted to ask him to let me score all the time, but i am so embarassed to voice it out to Him. But He knows what's in my heart, and i am ashamed. I felt so restless and worried , sedangkan orang mukmin tiada kekecewaan bagi mereka di dunia. I tried to explain my restlessness, and i think it is because i yearned for part of the world's temporary pleasures.
Engkau memiliki ku Ya Allah, dan aku menyerahkan segala urusan duniaku kepadamu. Bimbinglah aku ke jalan yang benar...Amin.
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