Assalamualaikum,
How are you rina? Feeling better today? Don't worry. If you leave the unlawful things, Allah will substitute you with lawful ones. It is what Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. said. Trust in Allah. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) never lies. It may not be now, but later. You must be patient. Only the patient ones will succeed. Verily, after every hardship comes ease.
So verily, with the hardship, there is relief. Verily, with the hardship, there is relief (Ash-Sharh: 5-6)
Probably you did wrong to yourself, by placing your hopes to other than Allah. But Allah is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful.
And what reason have we that we should not rely on Allah? And He has indeed guided us in our ways; and certainly we would bear with patience your persecution of us; and on Allah should the reliant rely.(Ibrahim:12)
And be patient and your patience is not but by (the assistance of) Allah, and grieve not for them, and do not distress yourself at what they plan.(An Nahl:127)
Assalamualaikum
O, this world has finally caught me in its false beauty. I have been weakened, finally! Was the trial of hardship better for me? Am I more disobedient to the Creator when I feel self-sufficient? Woe to me! May Allah protect me from His Wrath, for I have been ungrateful.
Just yesterday my lecturer distributed our marks. My marks was very good, alhamdulillah. In fact, not that I am boasting, but it was almost far reachable by almost everybody. Even my friends said that my marks were just too good, and that I was not like them. But that was their comment. I had a different view. I thought I had lost too much marks. And I felt it was unfair because there were certain occasions where I did not deserve a cut of marks, but I did not want to argue with my obstinate teacher. I took a glimpse of my other friends’ marks, which were in the same scholarship as I am. I was doing some comparison of my own. Yet, after that I still felt greedy. I was suddenly reminded by my conscience. This was a trial! I remembered how I once did not do very well in my exams, and had a friend who was doing superbly well. I was, well, you could say jealous at that time. And I often prayed that I did well in my exams. I did well, but my friend did so much better. I felt like my friend was very lucky. I often felt very very humble, because of my marks. But I prayed a lot, worked hard, and leaved matters to Allah after that. When I got high marks one day, I felt a slight proudness in me. I finally understood why Allah gave me humble marks. It was His blessing, for He wanted me to experience humility, for Allah knows that I will be ungrateful when I feel self-sufficient. And now, after I outwardly claimed in my prayers that I only seek the HereAfter from Him, He grants me a portion of this world’s beauty, as a trial. I am so ashamed to go to
Him, and when He tells me that all my prayers were just lies. My love for this world is too strong. I started to feel self sufficient after getting very good marks for all my exams. Yet it was Him who helped me all this while. And for awhile, I had been blinded. :(
“Nay, verily, man does transgress whenever he believes himself to be self-sufficient.” (96:6-7). Al-Quran
