Assalamualaikum,
Alhamdulillah, i just finished my physics paper. I berserah kepada Allah sahaja. Physics is the subject i really really dont like most. I think its my lecturer, i heard that my class is his last class, after that he's going back to his country, Canada, after this. He is so old, and teaches us very enthusiastically (..not!). Every time i look behind the class i see so many blur faces. You can say that 95% of my physics marks is my own hard(??) work, and hadnt been contributed from his teachings at all. No wonder i am getting so low .
The other day dahlah kena sound from Dr. Ikmal, because my mid term physics marks were so bad. But he was cool, and understanding when i told him that i studied very very hard. He didn't pressure me, but asked me a lot about it though. He's a nice man, soft spoken.
Sigh, lepas ni ada 2 lagi paper. Insya allah i akan giatkan lagi study utk menaikan lagi my average marks. Sometimes i feel like i want to plead to Allah, asking him to help me answer all my exam q's so i can score, tapi malu pulak kekadang tu u know. Malu sebab i meminta sebahagian daripada nikmat dunia, sedangkan kepada Allah tempat kembali yang sebaik-baiknya. So i prayed that He did what was best for me, for He knows what's best. I am very tempted to ask him to let me score all the time, but i am so embarassed to voice it out to Him. But He knows what's in my heart, and i am ashamed. I felt so restless and worried , sedangkan orang mukmin tiada kekecewaan bagi mereka di dunia. I tried to explain my restlessness, and i think it is because i yearned for part of the world's temporary pleasures.
Engkau memiliki ku Ya Allah, dan aku menyerahkan segala urusan duniaku kepadamu. Bimbinglah aku ke jalan yang benar...Amin.
[63.9] O you who believe! let not your wealth, or your children, divert you from the remembrance of Allah; and whoever does that, these are the losers.-Al-Quran-
Janganlah begitu...ikutlah perintah Allah. Apa susah, semua perintahnya ada dalam Al-Quran, kita kena ikut sahaja, dah boleh masuk syurga dah. Entahlah bagaimana agaknya hidup mereka yang tak menunaikan solat. I am sure they feel life is worthless, because they do not pray. What do they want in this earth? Wealth? They think it can buy happiness and their lives too, but no, these people are not the learnt ones. They have been tried by the test of wealth and they have failed. Ya Allah, jauhkanlah aku daripada mereka. Aku berlindung kepadamu daripada fitnah dunia...
Yahya related to me from Malik that he heard that Luqman al-Hakim made his will and counselled his son, saying, "My son! Sit with the learned men and keep close to them. Allah gives life to the hearts with the light of wisdom as Allah gives life to the dead earth with the abundant rain of the sky."
Knowledge enlightens the soul and gives guidance when one is astray. Sitting with the knowledgable ones are good, but in this world you find many people selfish with their knowledge. They don't feel happy when u sit with them. Dont they know that to Allah is the true knowledge and is where knowledge rightfully belongs, and what he gives us is merely a loan? Why do we feel selfish when it is not rightfully ours in the first place??
Like harta, it is not ours. Yet many are very selfish, they know not their they are only selfish to their souls. Byk yang tak bayar zakat, cuba tanya company-company whose majority are muslim shareholders. Ask them whether they pay zakat??? Kalau tak bayar zakat, duit tu dahlah tak berkat, kita makan lagi..., lagi banyak kita ada duit sebenarnya lagi banyak kita kikir. Tapi ramai yang lupa tanggungjawab mereka. During the Resurrection Day, the company of Hell will be asked, "What did u do in our life on earth that caused u here? And they answer "We did not pray and did not feed the poor."
Haa, about solat, u see a lot of people not performing solat. The one thing which bonds the kafirs and the syiriks, is by nor performing solat. In other words, the criteria that differentiates a muslim and kafir is solat. But many do not reflect this to their life. They take another equal to Allah, such as their boyfriends/girlfriends. They depend on the other person for happiness, to make them laugh, and when he/she is not beside them, they feel so sad. They know not that their sadness is because they leaned their hopes and happiness on their bfs/gfs, when Allah is the rightful one they should lean their hopes on. And when you lean your hopes on a mortal, you will never be happy . There's always something happening to make them sad. Tiada kekecewaan untuk orang mukmin di dunia. Untuk orang mukmin. even if Allah takes away all their family members, sure they will feel sad, but they will turn to Allah and say "This is a trial." and seek Allah's help for refuge.
For those who feel that they are pious enough, think again. If you feel the slight sadness when a part of this world's pleasure is taken away from you, reflect yourself and find your weaknesses. For this world is nothing but a game.
Gabreal a.s flew for 50,000 years and yet could not reach the end of Abu Bakr r.a's dwelling in Jannah, so vast it was. Imagine Gabreal with is 600 wings, of which one wing covered the earth when Rasoolullah asked to see him in his real state. Abu Bakr sold of all his 8 shops, vanquished his post at the court of law and when Mohamad (peace be upon him) asked what he had left for his family, he replied,"I leave them Allah and His Prophet".
My desires of this world is endless. Wealth, children, beautiful things (hey i am a girl!).. this whole dirty game, and i strive to be a main player. Have I lost my mind, have i turned away after knowing what had been revealed upon me?Allah had sent somebody to remind me of Him today...
[57.20] Know that this world's life is only sport and play and gaiety and boasting among yourselves, and a vying in the multiplication of wealth and children, like the rain, whose causing the vegetation to grow, pleases the husbandmen, then it withers away so that you will see it become yellow, then it becomes dried up and broken down; and in the hereafter is a severe chastisement and (also) forgiveness from Allah and (His) pleasure; and this world's life is naught but means of deception. -Al-Quran
Assalamualaikum,
It's true that the truth reveals itself without asking. Maybe tomorrow, or even forever. But you will someday find out.
Maybe Allah wants me to feel humility, that my faith was not as strong as I want it to be. Probably something went wrong somewhere.I ask myself, didn't i ...didn't i...? And i can't seem to find my mistake, and it was not until just now i found out.
Tak sangka pula what i said yesterday left me thinking hard until now. And i clarified my doubt dengan seorang Hamba Allah ni and i found out that all this while, my nawaitu was wrong. Memang terlalu nyesal lah masa tu. Tak sangka, sudah 10 tahun i macam ni, baru i find out yang my nawaitu salah. I had sold my religion or this damned world. Astaghfirullah...
Hamba Allah tu cakap, yang "Syaitan bersumpah di hadapan Allah s.w.t. untuk menyesatkan manusia, menghiaskan dunia untuk mereka dari depan, belakang, kiri..dan kanan.." . Memang direjamlah syaitan tu, sehinggakan iman aku yang lemah ini ditipu. Alhamdulillah, Allah telah menyelamatkan aku daripada disesatkan lagi...
Forgive me O Lord of The Worlds, for this calamity i had brought upon myself. Peliharalah aku daripada fitnah dunia. Audzubillahiminashaitonirrojiim.
Gabreal a.s flew for 50,000 years and yet could not reach the end of Abu Bakr r.a's dwelling in Jannah, so vast it was. Imagine Gabreal with is 600 wings, of which one wing covered the earth when Rasoolullah asked to see him in his real state. Abu Bakr sold of all his 8 shops, vanquished his post at the court of law and when Mohamad (peace be upon him) asked what he had left for his family, he replied,"I leave them Allah and His Prophet".
My desires of this world is endless. Wealth, children, beautiful things (hey i am a girl!).. this whole dirty game, and i strive to be a main player. Have I lost my mind, have i turned away after knowing what had been revealed upon me?Allah had sent somebody to remind me of Him today...
[57.20] Know that this world's life is only sport and play and gaiety and boasting among yourselves, and a vying in the multiplication of wealth and children, like the rain, whose causing the vegetation to grow, pleases the husbandmen, then it withers away so that you will see it become yellow, then it becomes dried up and broken down; and in the hereafter is a severe chastisement and (also) forgiveness from Allah and (His) pleasure; and this world's life is naught but means of deception. -Al-Quran
Assalamualaikum,
It's true that the truth reveals itself without asking. Maybe tomorrow, or even forever. But you will someday find out.
Maybe Allah wants me to feel humility, that my faith was not as strong as I want it to be. Probably something went wrong somewhere.I ask myself, didn't i ...didn't i...? And i can't seem to find my mistake, and it was not until just now i found out.
Tak sangka pula what i said to Dr. Ikmal yesterday left me thinking hard until now. And i clarified my doubt dengan seorang Hamba Allah ni and i found out that all this while, my nawaitu was wrong. Memang terlalu nyesal lah masa tu. Tak sangka, sudah 10 tahun i macam ni, baru i find out yang my nawaitu salah. I had sold my religion or this damned world. Astaghfirullah...
Hamba Allah tu cakap, yang "Syaitan bersumpah di hadapan Allah s.w.t. untuk menyesatkan manusia, menghiaskan dunia untuk mereka dari depan, belakang, kiri..dan kanan.." . Memang direjamlah syaitan tu, sehinggakan iman aku yang lemah ini ditipu. Alhamdulillah, Allah telah menyelamatkan aku daripada disesatkan lagi...
Forgive me O Lord of The Worlds, for this calamity i had brought upon myself. Peliharalah aku daripada fitnah dunia. Audzubillahiminashaitonirrojiim.
Assalamualaikum,
The title above was not deliberate. Terbuat camtuh, aper nak buat kan. Tried to find the button to betulkannya. Tapi cam takder ajer. Anyway, i have a calculus test esok. Sigh. I have not been getting adequate rest ever since college started. But it is good. Because i spend most of my time studying and not doing some rubbish work. Mungkin ada hikmah-hikmahnya i mendapat biasiswa renong nih. Everything happens for the reason, and I believe that what Allah has planned for me is the best.
I am so lazy to study now. Usually i study with the al-Quran nearby to avoid distractions, but i forgot to put it in front of me just now so here i am, writing about myself here. I met up with Dr. Ikmal yesterday. I am so thankful it was not my real interview that would have determined my acceptance in this scholarship programme. I think i did badly in the informal "chat" yesterday. It didn't seem like a chat because he was basically writing down everything i said. I had to becareful of what i said. Probably he shouldn't have made it so obvious that he was going to write down everything i said and i would have been able to be myself! :(
I am actually quite happy being here, apart from the stress i have to face everyday. Very high expectations is placed on me and my friends and sometimes things dont go the way we plan. Yeah, kita hanya merancang, Allah yang menentukan segala-galanya. I have never studied business before and right now, after getting a careless scrunity of what it is about through my accounting subject, I sometimes ask myself, "What am i doing in the science stream all this while?". Probably it's my love for mathematics. Don't know.
I don't think i am an abstract thinker. Maybe i never actually tried, or did not try that hard.
Anyway, maybe i will continue some other time. Got to get my studying rolling before it's too late.
Wassalam.
